You might think you’re going to dominate my big clit, but there’s a good chance you’re going to end up worshipping my big clit energy!
I’m feeling different about my clit these days. I’ve loved it since I was able to understand that it was desirable despite its uniqueness, but even so, I’ve always been shy about it, like I’m shy about everything, I’ve always been submissive about it, like I’m submissive about everything. But something has been changing, lately, and I’m feeling a pride, a power, an energy…a big clit energy!
Big Clit Submissive
Just to be clear, when I say that I’m shy about my big clit, it’s not to say that I’m ashamed or embarrassed about it, because it’s a big clit. It’s just that I’m shy in general, and especially about sex and showing my body and asking for what I want. I’m really, truly very submissive in that way. I don’t hesitate to stand up for what I believe in, but I’m terrible about saying what I want. But I can feel that changing.
Having a stable, long-term partner helped me see that I can say no, and that’s a huge deal for a submissive woman. But it wasn’t until I started fucking other people that I really internalized that I could say not only say yes, but that I could say what I actually wanted, and that, while doing so might be scary, it could also actually be amazingly fun—that’s when I started to feel this big clit energy.
Sure, mostly what I want is to completely at the mercy of a partner who, within my limits, does what they want to me, taking control of my body, my orgasms, and even—and maybe especially—taking control of my mind and pulling me out of my endless monolog of fears, doubts, and worries, and into the white hot now of subspace and surrender.
But as I grow and learn, I’m discovering that this yearning to surrender control doesn’t mean that I’m only passive, that I can’t ever reach that same kind of release and presence in the moment if my partner happens to be able to perfectly read me, to play me like an instrument without having any sheet music. Sure, improvisation is fine, but any improv requires queues from all the people playing, and sometimes turns out that it works better if I’m one of the musicians, not one of the instruments.
When I started playing with other people, I realized that my big clit had a sort of hypnotic power over people. Like, even the most dominant ones generally ended up completely focused on it. Sure, they thought they were dominating it, but a lot of them ended up worshipping it, ended up climatized. Suddenly, I had power over them—a kind of big clit energy, and nowhere do I feel more than when people are worshipping with their mouths.
You can’t resist it the power of my clit!
Suck My She-Dick!
Since I’ve started playing and working with other people, I’ve learned that I can’t just wait for them to get what works, so I’ve become increasingly aggressive about it. Just about everything feels nice, but if you want to make me jerk and shudder and bounce and squirt and COME, you need to do what I tell you.
Butterfly kisses and gentle licks are fine, especially while we’re getting started, but I’m going to need you to really get in there and blow me, once we get going. I’m going to want to feel you sucking my whole big clit into your mouth as far as it can go, to the point that you pull in my swollen labia and try to swallow it, putting you whole tongue along the sensitive underside, licking as deep into my pussy as you can get, shaking your head like a dog with a bone, moaning and groaning into my fat pussy, like you’ve got a cock in your mouth and you’re giving it a hummer.
That’s right, like it’s a cock. If that idea bothers you, you should tap out now, but my guess is you won’t. No one ever does. In fact, I want you to use every blow job technique you’ve ever seen. Straight girls and bi men have an easier time with this, once they get the idea, since they’re probably pretty good at blowjobs…at least the ones that I’m likely to play with. Straight guys can get a little freaked out at this idea, though. But none of them, if they haven’t experienced big clit energy before, are quite ready for the experience.
They aren’t used to finding themselves pushed down and pulled up into a woman’s pussy by strong, muscular arms. They don’t know that it’s the moving up and down the shaft of my two-inch clit, sliding the foreskin on and off the the glans that drives me crazy. They don’t know that it’s watching them bobbing up and down and hearing—and feeling—the wet slurping and moaning that drives me one hundred percent absolutely fucking mad.
What are you waiting for?
They don’t know what it does to me to hear them gasping for breath and sputtering and gagging when I squirt and squirt and squirt into them, filling their mouths and their throats until the hot liquid has nowhere to go but up and out their noses. They don’t know how powerful and wild and strong it makes me feel to see them make eye contact with me, when I let them up to breathe, their face a wet, swollen mess and their eyes tearing and red and running, completely wrecked and panting and coughing but dazzled and dazed and smiling and proud for having served me well…
Following My Big Clit Energy
Anyhow, I’m not a domme. I don’t think I’m even really a switch. But these days I definitely get the appeal, and I’m still growing as a sexual person. Who knows where I might end up if I follow my big clit energy?
I don’t know if my clitty has ever looked bigger and fatter than it does in this shot…
Hey everyone! I just wanted you to know that Rikochan Studios (not a real studio-yet) posted a new video a few days ago! I think it’s going to be fun for anyone who likes my big clit pumping Rikochan erotica–it’s like ten minutes solid alternating between pussy pumping and nipple play. My clit gets absolutely huge in this one! But that’s not the reason that I love it! It’s called Rikochan’s New Clit Pumping Project, and I hope you’ll all like it too.
The feeling of my huge clit growing and swelling and stretching…heavenly!
Here’s why: As I’ve said many times, most of what I make on Rikochanpornstar.com goes straight back into buying stuff to make it better. Some years I net a little money, most of the time I take a loss. Of course, someday I’d love for this to be a big money spinner, but for now, I spend the money to make better Rikochan erotica videos, to make better pictures, to hire new people to shoot with, to pay for hosting, to buy new wardrobe, and to buy new toys. This time I spent money on toys.
it’s not just about the clit, of course, it’s also the pink pussy!
It’s All About the Toys
It’s a not a sex toy, though, sorry! This time it’s a new ring light for my camera. These things are seriously cool…the light that they provide is so even and gorgeous…I’m pretty sure some of the selfie queens on IG use them, but I found them from watching Japanese AV. I always thought they looked so beautiful with their lighting even in their weird cheap gonzo porn with handheld video cameras, and I couldn’t figure out how they did it!
My clit gets so sensitive that I can barely touch someyimes when I touch it
Finally, though I noticed that in a lot of the close-ups, you can see a ring-shaped light reflected in the eyes of the stars! So, I google ring light, and the rest is history. The one I bought is on the cheap side, and occasionally you can actually see it in the edge of the frame in this new video, but I don’t think it really detracts too much…might even give it a funky new guerrilla Rikochan erotica/porn look.
The Future of Rikochan Erotica?
This is great and all, but I’m so frustrated about having to basically just reinvent/reverse engineer everything when it comes to making video. I’m seriously thinking of taking some film-making classes, if I can find some that are right for me at my weird advanced beginner level! If anyone knows of any porn-friendly film schools or classes (casual or formal) in the NYC area, please let me know!
There’s also some nice nipple pumping and nipple play in this one!
I’m thinking of maybe setting up a gofundme for it. I don’t know, is that too…gofundme-ish? I feel like there are some of you, at least who would really get your money’s worth if you invested in Rikochan Studios, or whatever I end up calling it…
Anyhow, that’s just a dream for the moment. Right now, I’m already putting out my advanced beginner porn, and you should really check out the latest one, Rikochan’s New Clit Pumping Project!
I’m interrupting my normal sexy chat to talk a little bit about sex workers’ rights, sex workers’ safety, and the right to post and consume porn online–all of which are at risk right now, thanks to the terrible new FOSTA/SESTA law. So, yes, enjoy this second set of pictures of me having an amazing time playing with Slutty Nic. But also read the post and think about what you’re willing to do to protect your right to actually see enjoy my porn. Are you willing to stand up for sex workers’ rights? Because that’s what it will take to keep sex workers safe, and to keep sites like Rikochanpornstar online.
Who Is a Sex Worker?
The fact that that is one of my most popular tweets–even more than most of my nudest of nudes–makes me happy and a tiny bit proud, because sex workers’ rights are incredibly important. I’m a sex worker, and I’m standing up for myself and all the people who do the kinds of things I do, whether it’s full service sex work/escorting, stripping, wrestling/sessioning that crosses over in sex work (not all of it does), web-camming, fin-domming, domination, sugar-babying, old-school feature-film porn, or just plain clips and pics porn, like I make.
Lots of gorgeous things to look at in this shot, amirite?
In fact, even burlesque dancers figure into this, as far as I am concerned, although some of them don’t consider themselves sex workers. Still, given the number of laws there are regulating what they can’t and can’t do with their bodies and what the can’ and can’t show of their bodies on stage tells me that, in terms of rights, at least, they count.
I’m a Sex Worker
I consider myself a sex worker. I make money from being (hopefully) sexy in front of cameras and video cameras. I have sex (by myself and with other people) on camera, and I sell the clips, at least, for money. I’m a sex worker, and I work for myself, and I enjoy it, and I’m proud of the work that I do and I’m proud of the pleasure and enjoyment it brings to my small but dedicated (and awesome!) group of fans and friends.
To be clear, I’m a sex worker, but I’m not a *full-service* sex worker. No one pays me to have sex with them. I don’t do any in-person services, but that’s not because I look down on that part of sex work or the people who do it. Far from it: I think that is an amazing profession that I’m sure provides true help, relief and human connection to a lot of people and satisfies and entertains many more. Some of the people that I’m proudest to call my friend do this kind of work. I’m only clarifying here because I don’t want to be claiming authority I don’t deserve.
Nic couldn’t believe how long my big clit got in the tube!
Me, I’m too shy to do it. Part of it is my English, which doesn’t sound nearly as good in person, without someone to correct my grammar (yes, I have a couple people who help me fix all the mistakes in most of what I write). Mostly, though, I’m so shy and awkward in person, I haven’t even been able to do camming yet, although I do have an account on MusclegirlzLive.
But I’ve written about all that before. The point here, and the point that is new (and bad) is that there are laws out there now that are attacking sex workers under the pretense of stopping human trafficking. Look, I agree that trafficking is bad, but the idea that all sex workers are trafficked is just ridiculous, and the idea that laws like SESTA/FOSTA help trafficked people is just plain stupid. FOSTA/SESTA hurts sex workers.
Shutting Down Backpage Hurts Sex Workers
All these laws do is make life far, far worse for sex workers, by forcing the closure of *sites like Backpage that make sex workers safer*. That’s right: the internet made life safer for sex workers by making it easier for them to contact, advertise, and screen for clients without an intermediary (that is, a pimp). For sex workers with access to the internet, at least, backpage and other services like bad client lists and so on, make sex workers safer.
The tube got a little foggy, but this is still a pretty nice shot of my clit, right?
What about trafficking? Well, for one thing, despite all the headlines, Backpage’s founders weren’t hit with any federal trafficking charges. Instead, their federal charges and pleas all have to do with prostitution–sex work. And sex work and trafficking are not at all the same thing, as much as the rescue industry would like to pretend they are. These new laws are erasing all the progress that the internet brought to sex work, which was their goal all along. While many tragically duped people may actually believe that these laws are “rescuing” people, that couldn’t be any farther from the truth. The people who really pushed these laws did so for two reasons.
One of my favorite clit-licking shots (of me) ever. Such a pretty girl, such a big clit!
Who’s Really Behind the Anti-Trafficking Movement?
The first group are the Moral Majority types who want to criminalize all sex work (and not just the full-service kind). These are the fundamentalists and the people who want to control sexuality–and especially women’s sexuality. These are the religious zealots and the subset of feminists who think that anyone who does sex work is a victim. Note: it’s a subset of radical feminists who are against sex work–there are many who think women are fully human being who ought to be able to choose for themselves what they do with their bodies.
The second group are in some way even more disgusting: the people (even including some most supposedly liberal politicians, like Bernie Sanders Kamala Harris), who do it for the soundbites, to advance their careers, despite the fact that sex workers have begged, literally begged them not to pass these laws.
Why Should YOU Care About Sex Workers’ Rights?
If you’re a patron of full service sex work, the answer is obvious. Your provider will be harder to reach, may have to charge more to make up for lost income and time, and may, in fact, be killed in the new climate.
She was AMAZED when I pulled the hood back on my giant clit
Even if you’re not a patron of full-service sex work, however, you ought to be very, very worried. You, as a consumer of porn (I’m making the leap that everyone who visits my site regularly is *mostly* here for the porn, even if they also enjoy my writing), ought to be terrified. The same weird coalition of religious zealots and radfems are already pushing to use the same strategy, with the same dupes leading the charge for them, against all sorts of pornography.
We’re already seeing the same arguments that women in porn are exploited and trafficked, and all it takes is a little bit of panic and the hint of legal action to get the wheels rolling and to get scared companies to start shutting down sites and stop processing cards and deleting porn from social networks like Tumblr and Twitter. It really wouldn’t take much for a waves of shutdowns to completely change the face of online porn. My site, and all the pictures on it and the sites that host my clips–all of that could disappear overnight if the people who pushed FOSTA/SESTA get their way.
That’s it, lick all the way around the glans of my swollen clitoris…
What Can You Do to Help Sex Workers and Protect Porn?
So if you want to keep watching porn and you live in the US, please, please, please contact your congresspeople and tell them you are against censorship, and that you think FOSTA/SESTA is a bad bill and should be repealed. Beg them to stand up for free speech and not to be duped by the trafficking argument, please? Speak up when people say stupid things about porn, sex work, strippers, and so on.
The other thing you can do no matter where you live is to educate yourself and help educate others about the truths surrounding sex work. It’s not all fun and games, but then no job is. And, once you separate the panic from the reality, that’s what it is: a job. It can some times be amazing and rewarding, and sometimes be shitty and oppressive, like any job. For the most part, though, it’s the ignorance, panic, and shaming of the “rescue” crowd that makes sex work worse than it has to be, and that misinforms the mainstream, most of whom probably honestly believe that they’re helping when they support the banning of sites like Backpage.
Teaching sub girl Slutty Nic how to pump my big clitty
I’m so excited to be working with lovely, formal pictures again. There’s something very different to editing and posting pictures that were taken during an actual photoshop versus the ones that you take on the fly during actual sex sessions, especially when I get to work with photographers I love. I hope you like this set, Pumping Rikochan’s Clit, with my friend Slutty Nic, which I’ve posted some great shots of in the past.
Getting ready to make my big clit really huge!
Don’t get me wrong, I love, love, love the gonzo pictures (and videos) that come out of shooting while I’m actually getting fucked or pumped and so on, POV shots that either me or the person doing…things…to me take, as the opportunities come. There’s a real, exciting rawness to shots that come out of shoots like that, and those are by far the largest part of the shots I take and post online. That’s the stuff that feels real, and hardcore and that makes me wet and hot and bothered to look at and edit and post.
I love Slutty Nic’s pose in this one…perfect subby girl…
But then again, there’s something really satisfying about shoots that are planned out ahead of time, too; shoots with a wardrobe, and a set and a budget–and especially shoots with a costar! You get a different sort of feeling with that kind of shoot, whether it’s video or still, as is the case here with these shots of me and Slutty Nic. No, there aren’t any videos of me and Nic, who has since moved away, which makes me very sad! We just did that one shoot for stills. Maybe someday!
Getting into the real clit pumping action!
Pumping Rikochan’s Clit, Vintage Shots
Yes, these are older clit-pumping shots. I started posting pictures from this set about four years ago, with a post called Rikochan Gets Her Clit Licked by Slutty Nic. I’ve slowwwwwwwly been doling them out ever since. These are some of my most popular pictures ever, and I get amazing feedback every time I post a new group of pictures from this shoot.
I love the way clit pumping feels!
I’m going to be really sad when they’re all gone! I do the same thing with my shots of Yuka Ozaki and Mistress Treasure, by the way, sitting on pics for years. So if you’re a fan of my shoots with either of those two, yes, there’s more coming from those shoots too…
Slutty Nic has gorgeous boobs, I love playing with them!
Note that I’m a terrible model, it takes shooting hundreds and hundreds of shots just to get a handful of good ones. And, furthermore I’m so subby and submissive that it’s really hard to get a good out of me unless you’re really assertive and in control of the shoot. And, furthermore, I always maintain some anonymity in my shoots, which is an additional challenge for a photographer, I think. For all those reasons, it’s so much better if I can get a costar for a shoot, and a video, too. That’s why, for example, my videos with Yuka, Treasure, and Lady Clarece are so exciting to shoot, and, I think, watch.
This is the real payoff of a clit pumping session: taking a break part way through to get licked as I’m getting nice and swollen!
And that’s why I’m working to set up some shoots with some people that I met via my Twitter, Tumblr, and Fetlife profiles, hopefully as early as May. Keep an eye out for more from this set, soon. I hope to have some news to announce soon! Also, I’m going to be posting lots more picture from this set, Pumping Rikochan’s Clit, over the next few days.
Today it’s all about the nipple pumping! Ugh, this felt so good. As always, click the pictures for full-sized versions!
Here are some pumped nipples to say Happy April, everyone! I feel like the long horrible winter is just about over (although there is snow coming here again tomorrow, WTF!), and I’m feeling creative and sexy and horny again for the first time in a long time. Yay! You know that that means lots of porn and sexy stories to share here and clips for my store, right? The first bit is to finish off this photoset, which gets serious now with one of my favorite kinds of sex play ever, nipple pumping!
Look at the drop of milk on the tips of my pumped nipples!
I spent longer than usual with pumped nipples for this little photoshoot–completely unplanned. I pumped the hell out of my nipples thinking that was what I was going to shoot a little bit of, and then I noticed that these panties were good for a clit bulge shoot and spent forever trying to get good shots of that. (It turns out they were too tightly elastic to really let my clit extend to its full magnificence.)
Ugh, I want to to pump until I start lactating!
By the time I got back to paying attention to my poor nipples, they had begun to leak little droplets of milk! I can’t tell you how exciting that is for me…like, it’s actually a sex dream I have had, that I take a special drug, or am forced to take a special drug, or am milked like a cow so often and so forcefully, or am under a spell…all so that my breasts swell, and swell, and swell, and I begin lactating.
My pumped nipples are so sensitive I can barely stand to have them touched.
As you can see, my pumped nipples got so big and hard and swollen they looked like hentai anime nipples! When I got the tubes off, they were so hard they didn’t even feel like flesh, they were as hard as rocks! And yet, so much, much more sensitive than normal, despite not feeling real. I couldn’t stand to touch them with anything but the lightest, most feathery of touches, just barely brushing them with what would have been a ticklish caress was like shooting electricity right into them (I know, because I used to be really into electrostim!)
Getting my nipples pumped makes my clit rock-hard!
Even a mouth on my nipples was too much to bear unless it was just the lightest of butterfly kissing and the very softest of sucking, barely a hint of suction, and light mouthing of my poor, aching, bursting pumped nipples with the lips. As you can see, my clit got amazingly swollen, just as a result of having my nipples pumped. In the picture above, that’s my clit with absolutely no stimulation, pumping or even fingering. I just pulled aside the yellow panties, and, boing!, there she was…
These things can definitely poke your eyes out!
Anyhow, that’s my latest photoset! I think there’ll be more again soon. I know I’ve been neglecting all my various porn outlets for a while, but at least when I deliver it’s something pretty good, right? Well, I’ve got some pretty good things planned for the next little while, too, so please don’t give up on me!
One last pumped nipple picture to say goodbye…for now!
Getting started! When you have a clit and labia as big as mine, you need a LOT of lube.
Hey everyone! I just wanted to let you know about my brand new video, Stroke Til You Squirt, which is now available. Anyone who’s a longtime fan is especially going to really love this one I think, because it’s a return to the kind of classic clip that first got me started: a plain old extreme closeup jerk off that is 100 percent focused on my enormous clitty! If you click the link in this paragraph, you can see a HOT little preview…
If you’re looking for some big clit closeup action, this is the video for you! Check out the squirt droplets on the lens! I hope I don’t fry my new video camera…
Of course, it’s way better quality than those original clips were, but at the same time it’s still just me, stroking, and moaning and squirting as I rub my clit. I get so excited that my labia get completely engorged, and pussy is actually pulsating at a couple points, I’m so into it. You’ll be amazed at how fast my clitty swells up and how fast too. This is all one long take; no cuts, no pumping!
Do you love big clitoris erections? Of course you do! Are you looking for a quickie clip to jerk off to? This is the one for you!
Did you miss a key moment? Don’t worry, I’ve added a few slo-motion replays so you can see the action in perfect detail one more time. They’re just short little bursts of slo-motion, nothing too cheesy or distracting, and the early feedback has been very positive. If you’re close to coming when you see me squirt or pulsate, you don’t have to rewind to get yourself right up to the edge because there’s one more chance coming in a few key spots to see me “Stroke Til You Squirt!”
This is one of my favorite ways to masturbate, to run my finger over the groove in the underside of my giant clit glans!
I know some of you like the longer videos with lots more scenes to choose from, but I also know that some of you prefer to buy lots of little clips for quick wanks, too! This clip is just a little bit over 5 minutes long, and it’s very affordable, especially considering just how much hardcore big clit action there is!
You get a realllllly good squirting payoff that you get to see again in slow-motion…pretty good!
I really hope you like Stroke Til You Squirt, and please stay tuned for at least a few more before the end of the year.
Hey everyone! I hope you are all having a sexy Decemeber! I’m working like crazy on so many projects and sadly only a few of them are very sexy at the moment. I hope to have some news about a new video for my fetish clips studio soon, but in the meanwhile, I want to share a bunch of my latest bodybuilding progress pics with you!
I never wear a bra in real life, but I do like the way my lats are stretching out this lingerie bra!
Again, I’m more active at the moment on social networking, so if you follow me on Twitter and Facebook, you will have already seen some of these pictures. But, don’t worry, there are a bunch of pics, both bodybuilding progress pics and plain old porn pics, that are only showing up for the first time right here on my blog, because, to be honest, my blog is really my first love. This is where I really ought to be spending more of my time, especially as social media gets more toxic and crazy. I need to be spending more time making porn and less time reading other people’s tweets…
Front view of me in that lingerie. I like this one because it combines pecs progress and some nipple pumping. Yay, nipple pumping!
I’ve been really focusing on my bodybuilding progress lately, and especially my bench. My legs and back are hella strong, but not so much the rest of my upper body. My current goal is to be able to bunch 100 lbs, which I shamefully can’t do at the moment. But I’m making pretty good progress. I had a lot of fun working with my trainer yesterday on dumbbell bench and floor press. I’m sore today, and I’m resting eating a TON so I can grow, grow, grow my muscles.
I’ve been working really hard, and I hope you can see some results!
I don’t have a lot of sex news to tell you, but at least I can show you a couple of sexy pictures, right? My clitty is still nice and big, and I pump it as often as I can, given that at the moment, I mostly fall asleep as soon as I get into bed. I really need to get back into a good sex and porn groove!
I don’t know why, but this is one of my favorite pictures of this post! Maybe it’s the round delt? Maybe it’s the nipples?
I’m hoping I get to change that tonight! I bought a milking machine to jumpstart my ecchi life again. I’m suuuuuper interested in lactation, and I think this will be the first step in getting that started. I’m looking into the various meds and herbs that can help, too! I’m pretty conservative about things like that, though, but even so I think that it’s possible I might be able to get a little bit of milky porn made in the first half of 2017. I can’t tell you how excited that idea makes me, having bigger breast that are swollen with milk and nipples that are engorged and sensitive all the time!
I don’t post too many unflexed full body shots, but here’s one just to keep it honest. I’ve still got some chub to lose, but at least you can see that I *have* abs. Also, clit pumping!
Is this something you, my fans and friends would be interested in seeing? Are any of you out there lactation or even hucow fans? If so, please leave me a comment and let me know! I’m still thinking about going after it really aggressively, and your opinions might help tip the balance.
I like this one because you can see both my pumped up clitty and my pumped up, vascular forearm!
If you do answer my lactation question, please don’t tell me that it’s my choice and my body and that I should do what I want and what makes me happy. That’s all well and true, and I appreciate your concerns, but let’s just assume that I know all that, please? Just assume that I know enough to do what makes me happy, and that this entire blog and my part-time porn career are already a labor of love. I’m asking because I am genuinely curious about what you think. It’s part fascination, part market research ok? I’m fine and I know what I’m doing, thanks!
One last big clit to say goodbye for now!
Anyhow, that’s it for now, but I think there will be more coming soooooon!
My big pink clit is already pretty swollen, even before I start to pump it!
Hey everyone! I’m writing to let you know that while I’m not being very active here on Rikochanpornstar, or on my clips4sale studio, I haven’t completely disappeared! In fact, at the moment I’m posting a new picture just about every day over on my Twitter account! And I’m not just talking about cute cat pictures, either. Nope. This is the good stuff: clit pumping on Twitter. Go and get it while you can! The clit-pumping pics here in this post are what I’ve posted so far in the thread on my Twitter account.
A friend on Twitter told me that my clit looks like a missile in a silo! I love that!
It’s a slow thread–about a picture a day–but I think it’ll be worth the wait for most of you. They’re just iPhone pictures, but actually I think that “real sex” look makes them kind of hotter in a way than some more posed pics I’ve done. I go back and forth over which kind I like better, but, the good thing is that I don’t have to choose. Since it’s my account, I can post whatever I like. I generally don’t hear people complain too much. No one ever says, “Ugh, too much clit,” or whatever.
My clit is getting long and hard
Sometimes my viewers will politely say “I love the clit, but could you also post more feet?” or more legs or more muscle or more ass and so on. And that’s fine. People like what they like, and I don’t have any problem with people telling me they like my feet or my muscle or my ass. Why would I? It’s flatter! As long as people are polite and friendly, there’s no harm in asking for what you like. I’m all about open, direct, and respectful communication.
Anyhow, these are half the pictures in the thread so far, and I’ll be posting more starting tomorrow! Go check out the thread for more clit pumping on Twitter.
I’m definitely getting thicker all over, but my boobs are looking smaller and smaller. And that’s ok!
I’m getting bigger. I’m growing. My sizes are going up. I weigh more. My thighs are meatier. My ass is rounder. My arms are thicker. My shoulders and traps are swelling. Sure, you guys are all focused on the changing size of a different part of my anatomy, and that’s cool, too. But it’s not clit growth that I’m talking about right now. I’m talking about putting on pure size as my body grows and changes with every hour I put in on the iron, every extra gram of protein I eat, every extra minute of recovery sleep I get in. I’m getting serious about my lifting again, and my body has started to change again, too. The only things that are looking smaller are my boobs.
I don’t think they’ve actually shrunk a whole lot yet, mind you. I’m still an American B-cup, I guess, or a Japanese C-cup. I don’t wear a bra, so I don’t know for sure. (I just wear nipple shields.) But as my chest and lats and back get bigger and bigger, my poor little boobs look smaller and smaller proportionally, as the same amount of soft tissue has to cover the growing slabs of muscle underneath. If and when I diet down again, I’ll have a very androgynous chest. Yes I can hear some of you saying I already have one, and that’s fine, too. But I mean really androgynous, like, “you got your mother in a world where she’s not sure if you’re a boy or a girl” androgynous. (I love that song!)
I’m getting close to the tipping point where my muscles make my boobs look small!
I know, because I’ve dieted down to nearly ripped before since I started lifting (but before I started blogging and really taking pictures faithfully, sadly), and I lost my boobs entirely. Because they have always been little and because of their Asian champagne-glass shape, they literally just shrink away.
There were no tiny leftover vestigial tits the way there can be if you diet away big hanging titties. I’m most definitely not knocking that look, which I see on some of my favorite female bodybuilders who haven’t gotten implants. It’s damned sexy to me. All boobs are damned sexy to me, of course, but there’s something special about boobs that have been through some things, whether it’s bodybuilding and the dieting and hormones that go with it or just the way boobs change when you’ve had a kid or two and nursed them. I love the look of Mom nipples! More on that in Part II, though.
But I’m getting off track…The point is, when I got really skinny for the last time (so far, I mean; not saying it won’t happen again), I had nothing left but nipples and areolae. When my nips weren’t erect, I had what looked like a slightly athletic teenage boy’s chest. To be honest, though, I didn’t get to see that very often, though, as my nipples are pretty nearly always a little erect, and pretty much anytime I looked at my (to me) freaky chest naked, they poked right out and stood right up!
Shadows and lingerie make me look like I have boobs still, but there’s barely enough to fill a cupped hand…
I still remember the first time my partner pointed out just how flat I’d gotten. He was a little tentative, like I might be upset about it, mourning my boobs or whatever. He was like, “Wow, your body is changing so fast,” as he leaned down and ran his fingers over my chest as I lay stretched out on the bed beneath him while he fucked me–slowly, for the moment. I knew they had gotten much smaller, but I’d been paying so much attention to my abs and my legs that I hadn’t really realized just how flat-chested I had gotten.
“It’s because I have my arms over my head,” I said. He smiled. “Try putting your arms down by your sides.” I did, and I was shocked to see that there was hardly any difference, and what there was was almost all muscle. I looked up at him, and said, do you mind, that I have no breasts right now?” And he ran his fingers over the hard muscle where my curves used to be, and said, “Fuck, no! You’re hot when you’re soft and curvy with boobs, and you’re hot when you’re ripped and hard without them. I get to explore a whole new body. It’s sexy because it’s like I’m fucking a completely different person. Honestly, I feel like I’m cheating on old you with new you!” I know he was telling the truth, because he fucked me harder and rougher than he ever had (but not harder or rougher than I wanted him to).
My boobs are actually pretty close to the same size, despite how they look in this picture!
Later, when we were lying next to each other and he was stroking my muscle chest and lazily tracing the shape of my pecs, after we had caught our breath but before the throbbing glowing feeling had warn off, I asked him, “But will you be sad if I don’t stay this thin? It probably won’t last very long.” He laughed, and pinched my nipple hard enough to make me gasp. “No! Then I’ll be cheating on hardbody you with future pinup girl you, or future BBW you. I’ll be excited all over again.”
Yeah, that was a good night. Not that I need other people to approve of my body, but, you know…it does feel nice.
Anyhow, right now I’m not in danger of getting ripped, but my boobs are looking smaller and smaller. Next week I have to interrupt my bulking to diet for a civilian photoshoot, though, and then my boobs really will start to shrink, and fast. And I’m ok with that. I’m ok with smaller boobs, though I do love big boobs, as anyone who’s read this blog know. And I’d like to have a pair someday, even if just for a while. I have an ideas about that, but it might not be what you might think. I’ll talk about it soon, in part II of this post!
A favorite recent lingerie purchase. If it looks a bit arty, does that mean it isn’t porn?
I never set out to be a sex worker, but I became one all the same. I didn’t even realize it until long after the fact. What do I mean? Well, let me explain.
I make porn. I sell clips of myself (and other people) having sex. To promote those clips, I write an adult blog and share lots of nude pictures of myself. The thing is, I never used to think of what I do in those terms—production, sales, and promotion—because I’m fortunate enough that I never needed to, because I don’t rely exclusively on porn for my living. I just never had to think about what I do in that way. I usually tend think of my porn as my secret art project, my hobby, my guilty (in a good way) secret, my life-saving outlet. And those things are all true. But it’s also sex work, what I do. I’m a sex worker.
I love the way my nipples look in this white mesh. And, judging by clip sales, so do a lot of my fans!
Just a Blogger Who…Writes About Sex…and Makes Porn Clips…and…
Conversationally, I would normally describe myself as a blogger who also happens to makes adult clips. The way I usually think about it, the blogging comes first, then the photos, and the clips pay for all the hosting and gear, with a little bit left over, which I usually reinvest into the process. In pure work terms, however, it’s the opposite. I’m a clip producer who builds community with her blog and pictures.
As I learn more about sex work and sex workers, I have come to understand that, to the extent that I make, sell, and promote porn, I’m a sex worker. What I do is most definitely work, and it’s most definitely work about sex.
My nipples are basically always erect, and especially after pumping.
Forums: My Gateway Drug
Just as I didn’t set out to be a sex worker, I didn’t set out to make porn, either. I was just looking for some people like me, for a feeling of community, and for some advice for discovering a sex life I could enjoy. At the time, that mostly meant forums. Eventually, I just started sharing pictures on forums that inspired me, as way to contribute to the community and, ideally to pay forward the incredible gift of sexuality and education I was receiving.
From there it went to sharing little clips, and then doing a little writing, and then starting my own blog, and then setting up a little clip store, and then buying my own real equipment and then, finally expanding my pool of people I worked with beyond solo clips and clips with my boyfriend.
I think that, even more than getting paid a bit for a clip or two, the first time work with people you’re not in a relationship with is the classic divider between hobbyist and performer.
Putting on some size; maybe someday I’ll be an FBB session girl. Also: Porn!
What Even Is Porn Now?
And so suddenly, I’m a porn producer. I mean, I’ve never made “big-budget” studio porn, and I’ve barely done any boy-girl shooting at all, but I’ve made close to 100 adult clips and I’ve posted thousands of erotic-or just plain pornographic-pictures online over the years. I’ve got a hundreds of posts on my blog, probably adding up to over 100,000 words, a blog that has had millions of views over the years.
These days, that’s increasingly what porn is, I think. The days when you weren’t really in porn unless you had a contract with Vivid or something like that are long gone, that’s for sure. I’m not dragging the people who make or made that kind of studio porn. But the fact is, the vast majority of the porn that I see people consuming these days get made by people like me. People who started small and built up their own teeny-tiny porn empires.
The thing is, though, because of the way I just sort of slipped into it, and especially because I do it anonymously, I never really thought too much about the implications in the way that you might if you went from nothing to having your face showed up on DVD covers in shops around the world overnight.
Ugh, that feels so damned good…
Baby You’re Star
I always used to think that sex work meant prostitution, and I told myself, I’m not doing that. Not that I looked down on prostitutes—not at all. I only know a few in person, but the ones I know are bold and clever and brave. The same is largely true of the ones that I know online, too. I’ve never been against the idea of sex work or sex workers. I just didn’t consider myself one of them, didn’t consider myself to be like them—whatever that means. I didn’t consider myself a “real” pornstar, anymore than I was prostitute or a stripper or a camgirl or any other kind of sex worker.
In fact, my site’s name, Rikochanpornstar, was originally meant to be a kind of self-deprecating humor, a joke at my own expense. As if I could really be a pornstar! Not! In my mind, it was a way of acknowledging that I wasn’t really pornstar material, but I suspect it was also a joking way of separating myself from sex work. Why?
I always thought I was outside the world of porn and the stigma that’s attached to it, since I never had to suffer it. I thought that by existing on the margins of sex industry the way I do, I could somehow not become a part of it, but that’s magical thinking. I felt that I was something else, and I also secretly felt guilty that I had what I perceived as the benefits of sex worth, without any of the cost.
This is why I pump. To feel and look like this.
Secrets Are Stigma
But then someone asked me recently why if I love my porn so much, I it anonymously, and I realized, I am affected by the stigma. That’s why I hide this incredibly important part of my life away and separate it from my daily life. I do it because I know that that stigma is just hanging over me, looming but at bay…for now. And that’s because no matter what I think of what I do and why I do it, at base I am also a sex worker, and the world at large despises and is deeply afraid of sex workers. When I started to be honest with myself, I realize that it’s exhausting and frightening to be something that society hates so much, even if you’re only living at the fringes of it.
Whereas my alter ego used to be a gleeful secret that separated me from other people, with that feeling of “I know something you don’t know, and knowledge is power,” now I suddenly had a new and altogether different feeling, too. Whereas before I was different from other people because of what I knew, and that secret made me powerful and happy, now I was also different from other people because of what I was, and that secret kept me safe.
I hadn’t really changed, of course. But my understanding of myself and how the world would see me had. I still do what I do for the same reasons: because I want to, because I enjoy it, and because it fills parts of me that would otherwise be empty. Yes, for all those reasons. All those reasons that are sort of almost nearly socially acceptable. Right? I mean, this is the language of creativity and art, and, well, I could argue that because I do what I do for those reasons, what I do is erotica, not porn. Not sex work.
But I’m not just doing it for those reasons.
I never would have believed I could build a whole business around my clitty…
Business Is Business
I’m also doing it to sell clips. Not because I need to, economically; this isn’t survival work for me. Rather, it’s because because I am good at it, and it’s very satisfying to make something and sell it. Business is very satisfying. Success at making and selling things is satisfying. That is not to say that doing sex work for survival is a terrible thing. It’s a great luxury I have, that I don’t need to do it, and that I love it; many people choose to do sex work to stay alive and many I’m sure, wouldn’t do it if they had some other opportunity. I understand. That’s the reality of work, sexual or otherwise. The stress of the job I do stay afloat was quite literally killing me before I found the outlets of exercise and sex work. It’s still taking years off my life, I’m sure.
Because I hate my straight work so much, I was desperate for this new thing not to be work. Yes, I used to tell myself that because I plowed nearly all the profits back into the production of my clips it wasn’t really a job, it was a hobby, or maybe a collaborative, crowdsourced art project. Sure, that might be true. But it’s also work. I like sell porn, because I like knowing that people enjoy my work so much that they are willing to pay me for the pleasure of jerking off to it.
If I’m being honest with myself, the fact that I am able to be successful at it adds a whole extra level of satisfaction to the pleasure I always let myself understand I was getting, that of exhibitionism, pleasing myself and other people, educating people, and broadening the world of porn to include people that look and think like me. All those pleasures are still there, but I’m also letting myself understand that this is work, and work that I enjoy for the sake of the work itself. I always enjoyed the sex part of being a sex worker; I just never realized until recently that I also enjoy the work part of being a sex worker.
A Sex Worker Are Workers; Sex Work Is Work
I don’t have particularly clever conclusion about about the meaning of sex work or the hypocrisy of society’s attitude toward sex workers. It’s clear to me that sex work is work; it’s the moral panic that surrounds it that makes it such a charged scary thing for so many people. That moral panic and the stigma and laws that force it underground are what makes it a dangerous, undesirable job for so many. Yes, trafficking is bad, but most sex workers don’t want or need to be rescued–except, quite often from law enforcement and the rescuers themselves.
I’m stunned at the way my understanding of both sex work and myself has changed just lately. I honestly don’t know what this will mean for my blog and my clips. I’ll keep making them, that’s for sure. Maybe now that I’m thinking about it more clearly, with fewer delusions and less confusion, I’ll do more, and do better. I don’t know; we’ll see. Like I said, these are new thoughts for me. I’m not really sure where they’ll take me.
If you do want to read some clever people with deeper, better developed and clearer thoughts about sex work here are a few places you can start.
I give good hand, too, I’m told.
Books by People Who Know Much More About Sex Work Than I Do
Of course, there are thousands—millions—of sex workers out there who know more about sex work than I do, from the escorts, to the pornstars, to the strippers, to the clip makers like me, to the dominatrixes, to the sex bloggers, to the bodybuilding session girls (be still my heart) to the cam girls to the I don’t even know what. I could never hope to list them all! That would be another much bigger story. What I can do is give you a list of authors whose books on the subject have influenced, inspired, and educated me lately.
The first book I ever read about sex work was Naked Online: Hookups, Downloads, and Cashing in on Internet Sexploration, by Audacia Ray (@audaciaray on Twitter), a great writer who also did sex work. Even though it’s 10 years old now, it’s still a fascinating and inspiring (literally, to me) read. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, Ray’s book basically gave me the confidence to get started in online sex work. Even though I only got to go a few times, her readings series, The Red Umbrella Diaries, also introduced me to sex workers in person for the first time and showed me they were just regular people doing their jobs.
For a powerful, funny, heartbreaking, thoroughly unromanticized, yet also wildly romantic look at what it’s like to navigate relationships while being a sex worker, you should read the amazing book Prostitute Laundry by equally amazing Charlotte Shane (@charoshane on Twitter) based on her own confessional Tiny Letter about her life as a sex worker.
I don’t know if this post will make sense to anyone but me. But I hope it does. I hope at the very least a few people will click the links and discover some new books that give them a new view on Sex Work. There are so many great books on the subject. If you have a favorite or a suggestion for me, please let me know in the comments.