I love bodybuilding. I’ve been hitting the gym really hard in the month since I last posted, lifting often and heavy. I love it; I love the way I feel stronger, more powerful, more alive. I love feeling like I have accomplished something, even if it was only working up a shirt-soaking sweat and moving a few plates of iron from here to there and back again, over and over. I’ve been growing in all sorts of places. My shoulders and ass, especially, keep getting too big for my clothes. The legs of my pants get further and further stretched by what, to me, are starting to look like speed-skater’s thighs. And my calves…well, there basically aren’t any boots in the world that will cover them that weren’t made specifically for plus-size women.
I feel great, but sometimes I also feel huge, bulky, and blocky. I realize that partly it’s in my head. Bodybuilding is mental, as much as physical. I’ve definitely gotten bigger, but not as much so as I feel sometimes. I fed my body to grow some muscle, however, and I grew some fat as well. So I’ve started cutting. I’m down about five pounds so far, and I hope to lose a good chunk more in the next ten days as I get ready for Rubber Ball NY. I’ve got a dress for the event that is literally skin tight, as it it made of latex, and it shows every curve, that’s for sure! I didn’t realize how much latex was also a compression material, too, until I tried the dress on; I was pleasantly surprised! But I was also determined that my shape would change for the better by the next time I tried it on. We’ll see!
Anyhow, the picture above shows me last night. I’ve been experimenting a lot with black and white. I love the look of B&W. For example, my friend Mayumi does some beautiful erotic work in black and white–her blog is always worth looking at. I wish my pictures were as good as hers. Still, I am having fun, and I hope you like the B&W pics I plan to post on and off over the next little while.
This particular pic I’m not sure how I feel about. Kraka really liked it and convinced me to put it up, however. Clearly, I am off-season, still. I think, however, you can see that I have put on at least some size, despite how bad I am at posing. I feel like you can see a little in the size of my upper arms and traps, and maybe a little hint of my pecs, too. I was surprised at the vascularity I still have, even at this weight. None of my pictures so far have really captured just how veiny I really look, but this does, a bit. Anyhow, even though I’m not flexing very well, it does sort of show my current shape, and that’s a good thing for me to have in mind as I work out and diet over the next ten days.
I plan to take and post lots of pics over the next ten days, both to share any possible progress and to help me track it, and to hold myself to account for it.
So, what do you think? Either about me in the picture, or about the picture as a picture. I’d be interested to hear!