The truth is that the real excitement and orgasmic energy I feel when I am with a woman is deeper than just the physical sensation. It goes beyond just my pure physical lust for their bodies and beyond the mental aspect of it too, that still-exciting feeling of doing something forbidden and transgressive that I adore every time I’m with a woman. It’s almost silly to have theoe feelings at his point, but I hope they never go away!
As much as I love the idea and the feeling of playing with another woman’s breasts (I’m pretty boob focused) and as much as I love the idea and feeling of them playing with mine, the real excitement is something beyond both of these things.
I don’t have a very large sample size it’s true(or a very large sample size of guys to compare them with). And I know it’s silly to generalize. But in my limited experience, my experiences with women have always been different, on this deeper level, than my experiences with men. And I’ve been very happy in my sex life with men; I’ve been lucky to have considerate, inventive, and attentive men in my life. It’s not a question of comparison or better or worse. It’s a question of it being a different thing altogether on some level. I don’t know how else to explain it.
Don’t take this to mean that women are gentler, or kinder, or softer, necessarily–although this has often been true, in my experience. But not always. Sometimes it’s been the opposite. I’ve had whole shoots that I had to abandon because a mistress finger- and dildo-fucked me so hard I started bleeding.
But the thing is that even up until that moment, I felt a different kind of connection than I ever feel with guys, even the ones who know and love and completely “get” me and my body. It’s not a question of paying attention, or being familiar with me and my specific urges. It’s a connection on a different level than that. This sounds like some kind of mysticism some kind of spiritual thing, which is frustrating, because I’m so not a mystic. I believe in things I can touch, see, and otherwise sense for myself.
And I have felt, something, there, when women touch me, do me, connect to me. I’m not sure exactly what it is. Some kind of empathy, I suppose. Could hey know what makes me feel good because of our shared experience of being women? And, by extension, could their knowledge of just how to hurt me (in ways that I enjoyed) for the same reason?
I don’t know the answer, but there’s something there, and I really do think it goes beyond simple “I know what do you with your pussy because I have one, too.” In fact, I don’t even believe it’s strictly a biological thing. Since I’ve been thinking about this, I’ve wanted more than ever to have my first experience with a trans woman, because I feel like it’s going to prove this point, that it’s not at all a consequence of physicality or biological “woman-ness” but more something about a shared empathy based maybe on shared experience.
Of course, if you’ve seen some of the amazingly hot trans women I am friends with on Twitter and so on, like Natalie Mars and Delia (who I’ve written about before), you’d know that also I want to fuck them is that they are smart, funny, passionate people and consequently, crazy sexy. But, still. It will be so good to increase my sample size to include a more diverse group of women.
I can’t wait for it to happen. And I can’t wait to tell you about it, when it does.